Short Fiction

God of the Past

By Christian Mueth

I was whispering to God, when I finally heard him whisper back.

Some people don’t like to listen to me. I don’t understand why nobody ever listens to me. It’s not fair, how I fare. But, I don’t care. No… I heard the whisper of God.

God.

I searched so long for meaning, hunched over my papers with a stolid gaze. My eyes locked. Jaw slacked. Back racked with pain. It aches to look back and think about all the time spent. Lost. So little gained, if any. Though, no matter.

The lab I joined was meant to study the past. Specifically, the Jurassic era; days bursting with life, since covered by dust. We secretly sought evidence of something more, though. Our ulterior ambitions came about after we discovered “Vetera” in a desert — that’s what Dr. Florin insisted on calling him. He… He was a weird fossil, to say the least. Not buried that deep, but clearly ancient. Clearly not like anything ever uncovered.

Dr. Florin decided we make a case for an era between the Jurassic and Cretaceous. If only he knew that we were thinking too small — that in our research we might find… Find the divine.

A snowstorm was bleating at the window, bleeding out the lab’s heat. My intern had turned in for the night. All my peers had left too. They apparently had families to attend to. Wives. Children. Siblings. Parents. The holidays are funny. Everybody loses themselves, reverting to a primitive state. They return to places they’ve promised themselves to abandon, thinking something has changed. Yet, nothing has. Not even they.

Holidays have never been my forte.

I was poring over new feedback on Vetera through radioactive isotopes, a struggling flicker of light as my only company. I probably should have gone home. My head and nose were stuffy. Nauseous. The data was noxious.

My nose ran. My mind ran, then slowed. Slurred. Glazing over, my eyes were dragged down by an anvil. Probably the Advil I’d been taking, making me sleepy. Odd side-effect.

I couldn’t go home, though. I’d already promised Dr. Florin I’d have the data sifted by morning. Home had shown its back to me; Megan wasn’t happy, and I didn’t have the time to deal with her. There’s never any point in picking at a wound, before it’s had time to scar over.

Besides, the lab had a nifty new dating machine. Top of the line. It was even featured in the papers. The head technician claimed that it was accurate within a century. Keeping an eye on it throughout the night and learning its ins and outs would surely give me a higher position in the lab. At least, I hoped.

Though, there was an obnoxious tick to the machine. Every several minutes, it would breathe heavily, before receding back into breathlessness. Listening to it too closely was suffocating. An itch wore at me, eroding my focus. Eventually I crumbled and pushed my chair from my desk.

There must’ve been ear-plugs around the lab somewhere.

Drawers flew open. Cabinets shuddered and fluttered. Baskets spilled out. Though, the ear-plugs remained hidden. A tightness surrounded at my chest, and my face sagged. The ticking wouldn’t stop. My clothes were damp with sweat, my face was blotchy — and the lab was inexplicably colder.

A thick puff of snow rattled against the window. The ticking of the machine became clamorous. Corrosive. Close.

I was slapped in the face, by a jagged fist. There was a crash. I jumped back.

“Great...”

The fist had been Vetera’s. I’d stumbled into him. He’d been knocked off his pedestal, limp. Every bone, from his lithe legs to magnificent cranium, lay cracked on the linoleum. Perhaps I should have picked him up. Yet, if I did, the ground’s filth would spread to me. Furthermore, I didn’t want my fingerprints on Vetera. It was bad enough to have him knocked down on my watch, as it was. Perhaps I could find an excuse.

“Dr. Florin is going to kill me.”

I placed my head in my hands. This night was a wreck — not just for me, but for a fossil that had endured countless millennia. I placed my hands over my ears. It was the ticking sound’s fault. That was what was to blame. Yes. The sound poked at my head, teasing me. It knew. It thought it was funny.

“For the love of God, shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

I clamped my hand over my mouth. I needed to keep calm. Keep control. Maybe if I just explained the situation to Dr. Florin, he would be fine.

“And why should I shut up? Up until now, I’d say I’ve been remarkably… Closed off.”

The voice was shrill and frail, but pointed.

My heart shriveled. Perhaps my senses had been deceiving me. Indeed, as I scanned the room, there was only row after row of cluttered desks.

Admittedly, my eyes were limited by the lamplight of my own desk. I glanced at the lab’s light switch. Though, upon thinking of turning it on, my spirits receded. There was no point. Nothing was there. The voice was just a mirage, induced by stressors and sleeplessness.

“By the way,” the voice said, “I’d like you to stop studying all of that data, if you could.”

My brow furrowed. “Please stop.”

“I asked you to stop first.”

I nodded dejectedly, before spinning around in my chair. They had a point, whoever they were. Wherever they were.

“But, you’re not real,” I said, with a smirk. “Just a dream.”

“Not quite a dream,” they said. Something pricked me on the back of my neck. I turned around, only to be met by blank space. “Better put, not a dream at all.”

Furtively edging along the wall, my hands groped for the lab’s phone.

“Whoever you are,” I said with a snort, “you’re wasting your time. You need to get out of here.”

The phone blipped as it was ripped from its stand, and the “emergency call” button was pressed. The intruder merely laughed. Fizzing, the phone’s screen went dark. A hush entered the lab, as the blizzard outside was belittled to a breeze.

“Dr. DeGrom,” they said, “you might want to think twice before making threats. I’m only here for two things: to make your acquaintance.”

There was a cluck of the tongue, followed by a squall. The bulb in my desk’s lamp shattered, pulling a curtain of black over the lab. I waited for the intruder to give their second “thing”. It never came.

My pulse lapped at my ears, burning them red-hot. Instinct overrunning me, I sprinted to my desk. I needed to protect the data. As I ruffled through the papers, my eyes narrowed. There must’ve been something in the data that I missed — something of importance. Though, darkness had left the papers an indecipherable soup.

The squall returned, digging into my skin as a scalpel. I grabbed at a fistful of my hair to muddle the pain, but to no avail.

“You’re getting warmer,” the intruder said, their voice cracking a nearby window. Frost dribbled through. “Though, you aren’t there yet.”

I ambled about the lab, before stumbling into my chair. Tripped up, I failed to keep balance and hit the ground. There was a crunch. There were broken bones. Thankfully, not my bones. Though, a double take told me it would’ve been better if they had been mine.

I’d fallen on Vetera. Dr. Florin was going to kill me. Twice, if I’m keeping score.

“Yes,” the intruder hissed.

“You happy about all this?” I said, with a moan. Raw bruises covered my body.

“Only that you haven’t figured it out.”

“Haven’t figured what out? Out with it!” I shouted. I wobbled to my feet. My fists pumped with fervor. “Out! Just give it out!”

They gave another laugh. “The fossil you have… Dr. Florin was right. It’s part of an era that nobody has recognized. Though, as your data proves, the era was between the Triassic and Jurassic — not the Jurassic and Cretaceous.”

“My — my data proves that?”

“Correct. Clearly you weren’t reading it closely enough. No matter… As I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, Vetera is no normal fossil.”

“Yes… He reminds me of a Neanderthal. Though, not quite, you know? The structure doesn’t quite line up…”

“Neanderthal?” They snorted, and the lab quaked a bit. “So naïve. ‘Vetera’ is nothing of the sort. He’s so much more. Which is why… I can’t let you, or your lab, keep him.”

The storm and my breaths had converged, entering a rhythmic melody. I caught myself as I leaned my head against the wall. I was being lulled. Pulled, from my work.

Clutching my papers closer to my chest, I shouted, “Who are you!? What are you!?”

“Not quite sure, anymore. I’ve been for as long as I remember. Watching, observing. You should really watch your tone by the way, DeGrom. It’s no wonder Megan is so displeased with you, with you carrying yourself that way. You’re a short-tempered primate, truly.”

“You know Megan?”

“I know everything about you, DeGrom. You hate taking walks in the park, because it’s always too crowded. You hate public bathrooms, because of the nerves the ‘germs’ give you. You hate birds in the morning, because they’re too noisy. You hate mornings. Though, you like cleaning your house — the feeling of control systemization gives you. You like late nights. You like liquor. Especially on late nights, when—.”

“That’s enough! Enough!”

I was clawing at my face and hair. Somehow, I was back on the ground, writhing. The intruder’s voice was an incessant pest. It seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere, all at once.

“I just want you to leave,” I whimpered.

Vetera’s bones shifted, appearing to hover for just a moment. They collapsed shortly after.

Just a trick of the senses. It had to be.

“I will leave when I can. When I’m done. Though, it will never happen soon enough. I suppose that’s the curse of being me — of existing, for so long. I’m sure you can understand, even if you’ve existed for not even a fraction of how long I have.”

I sat up. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve been around for thousands of millennia. Ever since the beginning. And, now I’m here. Chatting with you. Because, I want your fossil.”

A smirk crossed my face. “If you wanted the fossil so bad, it sounds like you could’ve skipped a few of those steps.”

“I could’ve. But then… It would’ve been less fun.”

“How so?”

“Have you ever wondered what it might be like to be around, for as long as I have? To see the Earth’s beginnings, and then see it fade?”

“Can’t say it’s ever crossed my mind, no.”

“I read your old paper on the importance of archeology… ‘Why Remembering the Past is Imperative’. Glad to hear you could forget.”

A lump formed in my throat, as a revelation hit me. “Are you God?”

“It depends on your definition.”

The words were branded in my head. There they remain, to this day.

“DeGrom,” the intruder continued, voice lowering. “I know everything about everyone. Almost everyone, anyway. My head is everywhere, eating up knowledge. Though, never going anywhere. Always staying put, leaving things to be as they are. Does that make me God, in your eyes? Is that godhood’s nature?”

“Yes.”

I knew the answer before it left my lips. I knew it was the wrong answer, the moment it had. Yet, it was also the true answer.

The intruder scoffed. “I figured as much.”

A hum swung through the air. Vetera swung with it, crackling as he hovered above the linoleum. Crunching, as his bones came closer together. He was pushed further in, further up, until he was a ball high in the air. Then, he was gone.

“Why?” I wailed. “Why? That… Vetera was Dr. Florin’s life’s work! My life’s work!”

“And now, he’s been made quick work of,” said the intruder. “Such is the state of life. I suppose it’s finally time I revealed myself… Gave you answers.”

The room rumbled. Lights twitched, winking on and off. It stung to watch it. Then, all but one of the lights died out. The remaining light left a meek circle of luminescence in the center of the lab. A claw clutched the spotlight’s edge. No — a talon. An entire figure emerged from tar-black darkness.

“Impressed?” the intruder asked.

Their legs were wiry and coated with sharp feathers. Their entire body was comprised of feathers, in fact. There was an oily texture to them. They had knives for wings. An oversized beak made up their face.

Their beady eyes bore through me. I wish I could call them soulless. Yet, there was a shred of humanity in them. The eyes darted about with a keen awareness. Consciousness.

“You,” I managed. My lips were rubber.

“Look familiar?” they finished for me, scraping their wingtip along the ground. “Yes. I suppose you could call me a… Relative, to that dried up specimen of yours.”

Lifting my chair and jutting my jaw, I gave a snarl. “Are you an alien?”

“You’re more alien than me. You rookie primates, asserting yourselves as the dominant race, never ceases to bemuse me.”

“Get back,” I shouted, edging near them. “This is your last warning!”

They sped toward me, before knocking me to the ground. A crash resounded as my chair hit the floor behind me. I struggled against the terrible wings, but my muscles were drowsy.

“Lose yourself, for one minute,” they said, their beak clacking at each utterance. “I’m here to give you warning. For a scientist, aren’t you curious? Don’t you wonder what I know? What I am?”

I threw my head back in surrender.

“Have you ever thought it strange,” they continued, “that, out of all the species that archeology has uncovered, humanity remains the sole race to have achieved civilization?”

I shrugged. “Humans are the only intelligent ones.”

“On the contrary. Humanity is the only race too stupid to realize the toxicity of civilization. Every other species that has come before you… They realized the folly in ‘intelligence’. In community. They tore it down and burned everything of it, before it came too far.”

Their eyes went fierce, and their wings became tighter.

“I’m from one of those species. In an age long before your own, we ruled the world. Its skies, its land, its oceans… They were ours. And, we squandered it. Life was trampled in our wake. We finally came awake. And, we ended it, before we ended everything.”

I squinted. “Then, where are the rest of you?”

“Gone,” they said, their face going haggard. “I’m the sole survivor. I erased everything of us from the fossil record, after our demise… At least, I’ve done my best.”

They paused to take a glance at my datasheets, before turning back to face me.

“Since then, I’ve stopped every other intelligent species that’s arisen from completing their attempt at civilization.”

“You haven’t stopped us.”

A part of me wanted to smile. They beat me to it, with a smile of their own.

“You may think you have civilization… But, you’re only close. You haven’t ruined things completely, just yet. When you do? I’ll be there, to end you all.”

With a screech, it unlatched its wings and floated into the darkness.

“And what good is that to me?” I shouted. “You’ve left me with no evidence! You’ve left me with nothing!”

“Life will never learn,” they said from the dark. “I’ve tried hiding everything, to see if a species can divorce itself from ego, on its own… If it can rise above its nature. So far, I’ve been disappointed. I’m giving you a warning: change, or change will be forced upon you.”

There was a final screech. After, only silence to answer my cries.

Thereafter, only ever silence. Nobody has ever listened. Nobody ever wants to listen. All I know is the cold, now. People say I’m a fraud. That I lied. That I stole the fossil. Yet, it was God that I spoke to. He took the fossil. He told me how we save ourselves from being fossils.

I’ve only told the truth. I’ve only chased knowledge and given it. So, why doesn’t anybody believe me? Why am I so alone?

We are not alone.

End